Merry Messy Christmas
By Cammie Easley, LPC, MHSP-S, Director of Child & Adolescent Services
Recently, I found myself thinking, “Christmas is such a BEAUTIFUL time of year.” And, in many respects, it can be: twinkling lights, festive ribbons, packages decoratively wrapped, parties with beautiful tablescapes and delicious platters of food, and outfits with sequins and bows. It’s a time when our culture and media have really highlighted a Christmas that is “aesthetically beautiful,” where performance is near perfection, where family dinners bring joy and delight, and where happiness from the “Christmas spirit” is all around us.
However, as I have sat with friends, family, and clients recently, I have heard a different story. I hear of many experiencing tremendous grief as a loved one is not present for the first Christmas as a family. I hear of disappointment as travel plans are rearranged due to sickness, job loss, and the unknowns. I hear loneliness that is deeper than words can describe and feels amplified at Christmastime. I hear a feeling of lack because a parent isn’t able to provide the “lavish Christmas” they want to give to their children. I hear of family conflict that can make those Christmas dinner gatherings feel awkward, hurtful, and triggering for many. I hear of comparison that can rob us of joy and cause us to doubt our true identities and worth. I hear reminders for so many of the “not yet answered prayers” that they have been praying since last Christmas and a hope that hurts more to hold onto with each passing Christmas.
It is here that I believe we must integrate what the Word says about Christmas with what we have been culturally conditioned to expect and let it reshape our experiences.
Recently, while I was dehydrating my 4th batch of oranges to try to create ornaments to make my home look like a celebrity Christmas decorator came to town, it hit me—the first Christmas was FAR from aesthetically beautiful. The first Christmas was FAR from comfortable. The first Christmas was FAR from lavish. And, it was certainly full of some disappointment, loneliness, and confusion. Mary and Joseph had to have been asking themselves: is it really supposed to be this way? Because when Christ came, Mary and Joseph were miles from their home. They couldn’t find a single inn to make room for them, even though she was in labor and about to give birth. Christ was born in a barn and placed in a feeding trough. Instead of joyful celebration that the Savior had been born to redeem mankind, Herod, in a fit of jealousy, decided to kill every baby boy under 2 to make sure that his position was not taken away. The only visitors were not friends and family, but outcast shepherds and wise men from afar. And then, to top it all off, Mary, Joseph, and Jesus had to go into hiding for safety. When I listen with new eyes, I hear fear, grief, disappointment, loneliness, conflict, lack, comparison, and the “not yet.” I hear the same emotions that sit in my counseling office each Christmas.
So, if we look at Christmas biblically, what makes it beautiful is NOT an aesthetic, NOT an emotional high produced by perfect circumstances, and certainly NOT a season void of any negative emotions or experiences. But rather, what makes Christmas beautiful is that Christ entered our world to save us. And, it was messy. But doesn’t that show us how great His love is for us—that He would enter this messy world, choose rejection, choose the manger, choose the cross, choose to take on human form to save us? 1 John 3:1 states, “See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!” He came to earth so that we could become children of God and know His peace that is different than the peace of this world, know His love that is different than the love of this world, know His joy that transcends circumstances of this world, and know a beauty that is greater than the glimpses of beauty we see in this world…. It is Divine.
However, I know that does not minimize the hurt that many of us are walking through. We live in a world that is broken because of sin and longing for its Creator to make all things right. If you are hurting this Christmas…. know this, you’re not alone. And, you’re not that different than everyone else. If this Christmas just doesn’t feel the way you “expected it to,” remember this:
When we desire things to go perfectly and they don’t… remember Christ was born in an animal trough in a barn.
When we feel lonely, like we don’t belong anywhere…. remember the Son of Man was unwelcomed at birth from every inn and had to go into hiding in another country for protection.
When we feel grief…. remember He carried our sorrows and our infirmities. (Isaiah 53:4–5)
When we feel disappointment…. remember the people He came to save rejected and killed Him. (Isaiah 53:3)
When we experience family conflict… remember He was rejected the most in His own hometown. (Matthew 13:57–58)
When we feel lack…. remember Christ stated, “Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head.” (Matthew 8:20)
When we are reminded of all that is “not yet” in our lives for which we still wait…. REMEMBER, HE IS COMING AGAIN. And, He WILL make ALL things right. It is not over yet. And we know the end of the story.
And, as an encouragement/admonition to you this Christmas, let us not forget the second part of Advent! In Advent, we remember His first coming AND we comfort our hearts by remembering that He will come again!
This world is not our home.
Our hope is not in Christmas.
Our hope is in Christ.
And, when our hope is in Christ, He promises that we will not be put to shame. (Psalm 25:3)
So, from all of us at Heartlife, Merry Messy Christmas! We pray that this Christmas you are reminded of the profound love your Savior has for you, the divine beauty that He would take on human flesh to save you, the wonder that God gave His Son for you, and the unquenchable hope you have because He will come again.
Meet Cammie Easley, LPC-MHSP, Director of Child & Adolescent Services!
Cammie graduated with her Master’s in Clinical Mental Health Counseling in May of 2014 from Denver Seminary in Denver, CO.
Throughout her career as a counselor, Cammie has been passionate about helping individuals of all ages overcome anxiety and depression, heal from past traumas, process their own grief, and develop into the healthy and whole people that God designed them to be.
She believes firmly that seasons of hardship are God’s tool which He uses to make us more like Himself and to reveal Himself to us in ways that we would not otherwise come to intimately know. One of her greatest joys in counseling is helping individuals figure out how they can heal in a holistic way that incorporates their body, mind, and spirit.