Main Character Syndrome
By Cammie Easley, LPC, MHSP-S, Director of Child & Adolescent Services
For those of you who are unfamiliar with the term, WebMD defines “main character syndrome” as “the perception that your life is a story or a movie where you’re the central character. A term that was born on social media, it’s not a true syndrome or mental disorder. But it may overlap a bit with a handful of mental health conditions” (WebMD).
As our culture has advanced technologically, as social media has greatly impacted younger generations, and as parenting styles have evolved, this new phenomenon of “main character syndrome” has seemingly swept across our young people. If you are wondering what this might look like in day-to-day life, common features of “main character syndrome” include:
attention-seeking or dramatic behaviors, like being loud in public
overdramatizing life events, either to appear as a hero or a victim
an inflated sense of sel or feeling superior to others
a lack of empathy for others’ struggles
viewing everything that happens around you through the lens of how it affects you and your life
a high level of outward confidence that may or may not mask underlying insecurities
centering yourself in every situation or conversation
romanticizing experiences or relationships
acting in ways that are not authentic to your true self
dissociation from your true values or needs
a constant seeking of novelty to keep things exciting in life
an overdependence on social media “likes” for validation
feeling the need to outshine others to stay in the spotlight
(Taken from PsychCentral.com)
It is easy to see how these traits are becoming more and more prominent in young people today. On social media, it is now common to watch someone’s “getting ready” routine, see people deep clean their kitchens, watch another cook a pot of spaghetti, and another make their morning health elixir. Ordinary people filming themselves doing everyday activities have become the new celebrities of our generation.
One positive trait of Millennials, Gen Z, and Gen Alpha is that these generations tend to have higher self-esteem and self-confidence than past generations. This is a beautiful thing. However, the downside of this trend can be a tendency toward less empathy, more entitlement, and a more grandiose sense of self.
If you’ve been in the counseling world long enough, hearing the phrase “grandiose sense of self” may cause you to wonder whether these individuals might have Narcissistic Personality Disorder. However, main character syndrome is different from narcissism, as it is a colloquial term and not an actual psychological diagnosis. Still, it is worth noting that studies of college students dating back to the 1980s show a significant rise in rates of narcissistic traits among that age group compared to previous decades.
When we look at this tendency toward self-centered grandiosity through a biblical lens, we see that it is antithetical to Christ’s call to humility. Consider the following verses from Philippians 2 in light of today’s cultural climate:
“So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.”
(Philippians 2:1-11)
Let me be clear about one thing: I do not believe that being active on social media, being an influencer, or taking pictures of oneself automatically means someone is struggling with “main character syndrome.” Many people are called to larger platforms, many use these means to share the love of Christ, and many have a genuine desire to help others through these means.
However, I do believe it is critical for all of us to take inventory of ourselves regularly because we are prone to wander. We are prone to surveying a room to determine where we line up. We are prone to sharing stories that make us look good and posting pictures that present a slightly polished version of reality. And we are prone to pursuing our own wellbeing over that of others.
It is here that Christ’s call to us is radically different than this world and in contrast to our own sinful tendencies. He set us an example by “emptying Himself,” “taking the form of a servant,” “humbling himself,” and “becoming obedient to the point of death.”
Christ’s call to “pick up our cross and follow Him,” to “count others more significant than ourselves,” and to glorify His name above our own should cause us to pause and take an honest internal inventory. No matter our age or stage of life, it is important to ask ourselves questions like:
How can I more intentionally serve those around me rather than chase my own comfort?
How can I encourage and lift up others rather than exalt myself?
Does my social media presence reflect the beauty of the God I serve or my own image?
Does my prayer life reflect a concern for others or only for myself?
What is at the root of moments when I feel threatened, irritable or inconvenienced?
Is my use of technology and social media in line with my own convictions and values?
If you are a parent desiring to raise children in a way that runs counter to the culture at large, consider intentionally creating space for activities like the ones listed below. Humility is not just taught–it also must be modeled and fostered in our children’s lives.
Consider the following:
Plan family service days to serve those who are less fortunate in your community
Ask your children each night to name people they would like to pray for who may be struggling.
Encourage your kids to save a portion of their allowance to buy a gift for someone in need or a treat for a discouraged sibling.
Teach them to consider situations from another person’s perspective and imagine how others might be feeling (when developmentally appropriate).
Model a lifestyle of bringing meals to those who are sick, inviting those without family over for a holiday, or serving behind the scenes without the need for public applause.
Set limits on social media and technology that protect your children and teach appropriate boundaries.
We hope these ideas are helpful as you consider new rhythms and goals for your families. In a culture that subtly whispers to each of us that we must be the main character in this story, it is crucial that we zoom out and remember that we are part of a much larger story. And every crown we receive in Heaven will ultimately be laid at the Lord’s feet in worship, because He alone is worthy of it all. It is time we take our rightful place in this story of creation, fall and redemption, because it is there that we will truly flourish.
Meet Cammie Easley, LPC-MHSP, Director of Child & Adolescent Services!
Cammie graduated with her Master’s in Clinical Mental Health Counseling in May of 2014 from Denver Seminary in Denver, CO.
Throughout her career as a counselor, Cammie has been passionate about helping individuals of all ages overcome anxiety and depression, heal from past traumas, process their own grief, and develop into the healthy and whole people that God designed them to be.
She believes firmly that seasons of hardship are God’s tool which He uses to make us more like Himself and to reveal Himself to us in ways that we would not otherwise come to intimately know. One of her greatest joys in counseling is helping individuals figure out how they can heal in a holistic way that incorporates their body, mind, and spirit.